Mar Gavriel's Sabbath Activities (and Diqduq)

mentalblog.com scholar without a residence Mar Gavriel: What does Judaism say about pre-marital sex?

I'm 23, I live in Crown Heights and I write well. Deal with it :)

To all the 1st, 2nd and 3rd generations of the discriminated BT�s we dedicate this song. Perhaps the greatest song ever written (about BTs). Hi Hazra b'Tshuva by Matti Caspi.

S. H. comments to The Unchosen post:
TA - You know very well that education neither starts nor stops in grade school. To assume that a frum little girl from Crown Heights couldn't possibly write well is precisely the kind of condescension that has lead quite a few friends of mine to the idea that in order to be educated, worldly, persuasive in this world, they�d have to do something drastic to completely shed this shameful, plebian past. I�m no spokeswoman for self-educated frum girls but I can tell you a thing or two about the masses of young Jewish women who are extremely knowledgeable in topics Jewish and secular, make very successful careers for themselves, raise Jewish families in the proper chasidisher way, all while maintaining the fa�ade of just the average Hasidic housewife that not only fools the idiot reporters who think they�ve really cashed in by meeting this anomaly called Malkie but very surprisingly fool you too! True, this kind of �liberation� wasn�t always possible in the ultra-orthodox world, but by now it�s pretty much a moot point. Most women work, a large number are beginning to attend college (because it isn�t a crime to develop skills that will actually pay), and believe it or not we may actually come across as educated and interesting individuals who have something unique to contribute. I�m hesitant to tell you who I am, but you�ll have to take my word for it: I�m 23, I live in Crown Heights and I write well. Deal with it :)

Rabbi Schick is detained

My former neighbor Rabbi Eliezer Schick of Breslov is detained for questioning at the Ben Gurion Airport: Haaretz. He is suspected of officiating the marriages of some 20 underage couples, mostly ages 12 to 16. Let me think... As a Bresolver he believes the gravest sin is the shedding of man�s seed. If he truly believes this than he should be marring every 14 year old in sight. I know Breslovers like the shock value of that conversation. I recall when I first walked into his basement beis medrach on 37th street he started a drosha on this very subject. He was trying to get my attention. I can witness in court though that he never solicited me for a marriage with 14 year old, 16 year old or 75 year old. Put him in jail, let him think it over.

Cocktails on the house�

Cocktails on the house� I am kicking back, the week is upon us. Going to listen to some Biagio Antonacci.

The Daily Star of Lebanon: Censorship in the Arab world. BEIRUT: Plato recognized music's ability to threaten people and society while Jewish, Christian and Muslim scholars have at times described it as a source of sin. A conference in Beirut this month on the censorship of music produced some interesting revelations about man's love and fear of this beautiful art.

Natural resources from Aaron's Best

On the subject belabored on this blog for at least for three months. As is in Business aspects of the Rubashkin shechita. I was in the supermarket today. The kosher department used to have Empire meat. It is all Rubaskin now...

The Unchosen

Sandee Brawarsky reviews the book in the Jewish Week. Who is Malkie Schwartz? Get me in touch with her.
UPDATE 1: ...and here is Malkie - Footsteps: Our History.

UPDATE 2: S. H. comments to this post:
I went to school with Malkie Schwartz - her story is far less glamorous than anything portrayed in Unchosen or her person profile on Footsteps.org. In fact, her father comes from an wealthy and crusty upper east side family which disapproved of his becoming religious and shunned him completely, both emotionally and financially. At the same time, the grandparents consistently reminded the children in the family, i.e. Malkie and sibs, that if only they would leave religion they would be welcomed with open arms (i.e. given a share of the family $ pie). Her father is a melamid and she's from a family of over 8 at least plus she has a severely disabled sibling... so just imagine how rosy her life had been. Couple that with extreme intelligence, the feeling of being an outsider to the ffb clans in crown heights no matter how hard she tried and no matter how 'chasidish' she behaved and appeared, and you've got a girl who at 19 years old just one day up and leaves her destitute and noisy home and moves in with her posh and doting grandmother.

Then she does what any good Lubavitcher does and starts to think about all the other Jews 'in need', however crooked that may sound, and she founded Footsteps. The program never really took off- at the meetings they basically pass around condoms and sex-ed pamphlets, talk about what it was like to walk into McDonalds for the first time and curse out their parents and teachers for causing them so much guilt and shame for living how they want to, bla bla bla. So that's the short story.

Of course Malkie now has celebrity status among 'religious renegades' because she's very vocal about what she did and why. She's been quoted everywhere from the NY Times magazine article on post-messianic chabad to lilith magazine (a jewish femenazi publication aimed at destroying all things sacred). I personally resent that in her interviews she portrays us 'fools' who choose to remain observant and continue to believe in whatever mission we call our own as frauds - she makes the presumption that we all feel like her, only we're too trapped, be it because we have no resources in the 'outside' world or because we're creatures of habit and it takes too much courage to break out the way she did. I think most people disagree. Idealism and true faith still thrive in crown heights and elsewhere and these so-called rebels don't prove anything about the life they've rebelled against. They've made personal choices about their lives and I can't stand when they make so much more of it.

UPDATE 3: A Reader comments:
False statement #1: "In fact, her father comes from an wealthy and crusty upper east side family which disapproved of his becoming religious and shunned him completely, both emotionally and financially."
False statement #2: "plus she has a severly disabled sibling..."
False statement #3: "The program never really took off- at the meetings they basically pass around condoms and sex-ed pamphlets"
False statement #4: "The girl needed financial support her parents could ill afford. And her grandmother provided it."

UPDATE 4: Tzemach Atlas:
Human behavior is too complex to be reduced to smile formulas. Saying that there is cause and affect during mysterious and personal dialogue with G-d is unbearably inaccurate and primitive. When dealing with BTs or TBs (made up aabbreviation), reducing the decision making to a traceable event or events is rarely true. In some way this reasoning is the unfortunate byproduct of the frum culture when human behavior is mapped after a fairy tale story where giants and midgets take caricature steps in life. I don�t mean the culture permeated by the lively and uncensored drama of the "Bible" but the culture of the sterilized fairy tales.

UPDATE 5: mentalblog.com: I'm 23, I live in Crown Heights and I write well. Deal with it :)

UPDATE 6: mentalblog.com: The Lady Malkie Schwartz.

The Big Boulder of Kurenitz

(Kurenitz Bolder c. 1929. Latitude: 54 1/4 33' Longitude: 26 1/4 27'). Members of Hashomer Hatzair on top of the bolder. Standing on the rock from right to left: Shlomo son of Meir Aharon Alperovitz, Michal son of Ben Zion Meirovitch (perished in 1942), Leizer son of Chaim Velvel Benes. On the far right Yitzhak Gurfinkel hugging Eiyahu son of Alter Zimerman. Between the standing boys sitting Nechamia Alperovich and leaning on his shoulder Dov the son of Avraham Chaim Reyder (perished in 1942) the chimney sweeper. Holding the flag is Yosef Markman, to his top left, Luba nee Gurevich Bardan, to her left Chaya Sara Shmukler(perished) and sitting on her Henya Dimenstein the daughter of Merka de Bakerke. Sitting at bottom right; Sara Eisak, Zlata Zimerman, ?, ?, . Sheina the daughter of Neta Zimerman (perished in 1942), Chana Alperovitz and Freydale Zimerman. above them standing Chaya Altman from Dolhinov Street, sitting far left Bela Meltzer and Menuchka Kupelovitz.

This story is published in the collection of Belarusian Sacred and Historical Stones. Written by Yosef Weiss in 1955. (First Published in JewishGen Megilat Kurenits; ayara be-hayeha u-ve-mota).

On gloomy winter nights, when the Rabbi was praying the Mincha prayer in the synagogue, we, the little children of the Cheder, would gather around the big fire place. The descending darkness would stir our imaginations. We would spend the evening telling horror tales, about witches, spirits, and cursed princes and princesses.

The Rabbi's wife would stand, warming herself by the fire, and listen silently to our horrible tales. Maybe she found them interesting, or maybe she only smiled in the darkening room at our naivete. One evening while we sat around the fire place the Rabbi's wife told us, "Today children, I will tell you a tale. But this tale is about an occurrence that didn't take place somewhere far in the world, it is something that people say happened right here. Right in Kurenitz." Our eyes widened in the dark, and our curiosity knew no limits. Our only worry was that the Rabbi might return from the synagogue, and the tale would have to be stopped in the middle.

"Do you know what I am going to tell you about?" she whispered, " I am going to tell you about the Big Boulder; the boulder that you will find far in the field past Mydell Street. Are you listening, children? Long, long ago, there was no boulder in that field. Instead, a huge inn stood on the spot the boulder is now. There lived the innkeeper with his wife and many children. But this man, as you must have heard, was a miser, who was notorious for his many bad deeds. He never gave alms to the poor and banished vagabonds and poor men from his inn."

"Then, one day something happened. A beggar passing through the town was going from door to door in search of alms. He knocked on the innkeeper�s door and begged for something to eat and a place to eat. The innkeeper kicked him out of his home and worse yet, sent his huge dogs after the poor man. But this beggar was no ordinary beggar. Oh no, this man was a magic maker and a miracle worker. Immediately, he whispered a magical spell, cursing the innkeeper and his entire family. Only a minute had passed when� the inn with the innkeeper's house with all its occupants inside transformed into a big boulder. And today that very same boulder sits behind Mydell Street. But this my children is not the whole tale. People say that if you come to the boulder exactly at twelve midnight and you say a secret message, when you put your ear to the rock you will hear the rooster's crow and the children cry!"

Of all the children gathered around the fire that night, I was the youngest. And this tale of the Big Boulder awed and haunted me. I wished with all my heart to see that amazing boulder. I started begging my friends to walk to the famous place in order to see the boulder there, with our own eyes. But all the other small children said they would only visit the Boulder during the festival of Lag Baomer. They planned to bring the colorful eggs that they got for the holiday, and break them open on the Boulder.

There were many, many days until Lag Baomer, and I was filled with the urge to see the place at once. Daily I would stand secretly on the roof of our house, and observe from afar this miraculous place. For a while I was satisfied straining for a glimpse of the magical boulder, but soon I fell into my familiar longing to actually visit the Big Boulder.

Every Friday we were let go from the Cheder at noon. The idea soon occurred to me that I escape for long enough on Friday in order to finally make journey to the Boulder. I spoke to two of my friends of my plan and finally convinced them to join me. The next Friday afternoon we were walking through the gardens of Smorgon Street, and on our way. All of a sudden we came across was a boy with a huge, hulking dog. Of course, we were very scared. We started sprinting back to the Cheder. My two friends ran swiftly, like leaping deer. But, unluckily, I was wearing big boots and could not run fast. I lagged behind and the dog caught a hold of me. ]From then on I didn't dare leave the shtetle. Still, the tale of the Big Boulder remained constantly in my mind. Finally, the day of Lag Baomer arrived. I hardly slept the night before, I was so excited. I awoke at dawn. According to the tradition of our town, the people of Kurenets began taking eggs from the oven where the chickens were kept, and boiling the eggs in onion. I decorated the egg shells with ink designs. As soon as the Morning Prayer had ended, a large group of children gathered, and we set out our way to the boulder.

My heart was pounding as I walked. Eventually we arrived at the boulder, and stood before it. It rose, hulking and black, out of the middle of the field. It certainly did look like a large house. I stood in front of the boulder, curious and sad. In my imagination I saw the big inn. The owner, clearly, had not been a descent man. Nevertheless, I pitied him and his pitiful family for the horrible punishment that was theirs. I stood there dreaming. All of a sudden, an older boy approached me and said, "Hey you! Listen, why are you standing there dreaming? If you go around the boulder seven times, and if you say seven times, 'Sits in hiding,' and then put your ear on the boulder, you will hear the sound of crying children and crowing roosters." I did what he told me. I walked around the boulder seven times and then I said with deep concentration and intention, "Sits in hiding," seven times, one after the other. I bent my knees very close to the boulder and I put my ear against its rocky side to hear the sounds. Alas, I hadn't known that the trouble maker was only making fun of me. All of a sudden, he pushed my head into the boulder; my forehead pressed against the smooth rock, my eyes darkened. Instead of the sound of children crying and roosters crowing, I heard a sharp ringing in my ears. I was left with a big bruise on my face.

Those were the days of childhood and naivet�. I traveled to many places: to far away lands, and to the tops of the highest mountains which were scattered with huge boulders. But not one of those boulders left as deep an impression as the Big Boulder in the field of my little shtetle.

P.S. I highlighted recollections about the eggs because this seem to be a clear historical evidence of the Lag B'Omer eggs (see comments to that post), a subject of interesting conversations on this blog.

Ritalin - Torah enhancing drug for children

On the subject of Jewish kids, a ritalin nation? This ruling by Rabbi Chaim Tabasky via yeshiva.org.il: Ritalin on Shabbat:

According to Rav Ovadia Yosef (Yalkut Yosef Shabbat vol. 4 ch. 328) it is permitted to take pills on Shabbat which are not a "cure" but rather treat symptoms (painkillers, etc.). Also, medicines which are taken regularly are often permitted. Rav Ovadia specifically mentions enhancing Torah study in this regard. There is also a stringent opinion, but in this case where we are dealing with children whose ability to function and learn Torah is at stake, we should not look for stringencies.

Lenin on antisemitism

First the word of acknowledgment and gratitude to the proprietor of sovmusic.ru. A monumental, unmatched archive of the Soviet era posters, music and audio recordings.
Absolutely incredible Lenin�s speech against anti-Semitism (in Russian).
Breathtaking Beria�s speech on Stalin's death (in Russian with heavy Georgian accent).

The Alter Jagermarsch

I didn�t have a chance to dance the Napoleon march this year. So I am going to dance it now. By I have to march to my own drum. So I am going make up something new. First is this historic recording of Levitan announcing on May 2, 1945 the fall of Berlin. I had goose bumps listening to this mp3 (in Russian).

The Alter Jagermarsch attributed to the Prussian Jagers. It was so beloved by Tsar Alexander the First (the Tsar who interrogated Alter Rebbe) that he introduced it to the Russian army in 1813 and it stayed with the Soviet Army. The Russian version of the march is lighter and faster than the German version. The Russian march is more Jewish in it�s melody or perhaps this is the origin of the Jewish music. Let's march ahead! Lechaim!

Commodities in the new world order

Introducing: Sanders Research Associates. The site resembles Debka. The premise is to reconstruct undercurrents of the political events and fill the gaps (or leave the gaps actually) by the way of the intuitive conjecture.

For example Who �Created� Condi Rice? Can We Handle the Truth? Or the two-part series about Scooter Libby. All of the SRA�s �research papers� inevitably draw the same conclusions that the word is being run by a secret group of people who strive to take control of the commodities and the natural resources. This is subject that I personally find very interesting. I tried to make that point with Diamonds - a reflected light from the depths of the earth. Indeed the new rich Leviev, Gaydamak, Gutnik, even Rohr and all the FSU oligarchs, their money are due to control of the natural resources. In light of our recent conversation about the Chief Rabbi in Kiev see Ukrainian orange . Indeed Chabad almost exclusively is financed by people who control the material bounties of the earth. In contrast to money generated by people who control ideas like MSFT for example. 10 years ago it seamed that �brick and mortars� succumbed to ideas in the dot.com mirage. And now we witness the price of oil, gold and vigorous wealth of people who control material resources. The fright of matter and spirit remains unresolved.

P.S.

We wish our Jewish brother Mr. Libby a speedy acquittal.

Simchas T. in Satmar

On the subject of Hasidic monarchy, did it run it's hereditary course?
NY Newsday: Confrontation at synagogue turns ugly and Synagogue faction allegedly wrecks school.
Channel 7 Video.
and
Ynetnews: Riot in Jerusalem; 4 police hurt.
Yossi Lipsker's saga in Swampscott continues: CBS4 Video.

Head of the Charles Regatta

Thousands of rowing boats today, every college in the USA with a rowing program comes to race on the Charles river.



I wish you all a great year, a gutten kvitel, a gut yontev, best of all worlds!

Negotiate this

The "CEO", Levi Hodakov: Would you move to a new development for "Lubavitchers Only"?
Palm Beach Post: Palm Beach County: 'More Jewish' than N.Y. That means one out of every five local residents is Jewish.

Peter Himmelman

Peter Himmelman (AKA Bob Dylan's son in law): his life and music.

Camp Mashiach

What you are about to see is a group of Israeli youngsters visiting Crown Heights, Brooklyn for the month of Tishrei this year indoctrinating children to spread the messianic message to save the world from itself. I presume the kids are in Crown Heights with their parents or at least they are aware of the training (courtesy Chabad.FM site).

See "Hasbara"and check out the movie. Where did they pick up all the socialist/fascist symbolism - salutes, bandannas, officers and podium agitprop?

mentalblog.com links

Lubav Or Frye - Where Am I?: Am I the only one?
Crown Heights; the View From Inside: In Search of Dependence.
Yeshiva Orthodoxy: Passing of a Great: R' Naftali Neuberger. "He leaves behind five sons, all active in the Yeshiva..." (see Binyan adei ad or a problem of nepotism).
Yeshiva Orthodoxy: ASPCA investigating Kapparot run 'afowl'.
New York Magazine: R. Alan Stadtmauer of Yeshiva of Flatbush outed?
AJHistory: Pictures from New Orleans.
languagehat.com: From Russian to Yiddish.
tennessean.com: Siyum ha Tanya in Nashville.

Boruch habo Sholom Yeshayah!

Mazeltov to R. Mayshe and Shifra Schwartz of getchai.com who�s son had a Bris this Shabbos. It was a great feast in the Sukkah of Young Israel of Brookline. Mayshe's esteemed father of chaicenter.org might in fact have been in California for too long as he was wearing the red string Kabbalah bracelet.

Clouds of glory in Hevron

Oded Balilty an AP photographer who was featured on this blog several times filed this from Hevron:


This is a superb picture. Bravo Oded!







Also note treppenwitz: Photo Friday (Vol. XLII) [Sukkot edition] and a foggy day...

Patterns

I am often confounded by the fact that even people with whom I have daily contatc are a complete enigma. Some are more that others. I often think that I really figured them out and I understand what motivates them. I think I understand how they emote. But no, no, it is a bottomless pit. I do notice though that I fall into patters of conversation with people. Even years apart we reenact the same questions and answers. I resent this. Still I was not able to escape the patterns even with people of highest intellect.

The gifts of Calabria

The following photos were taken in August on the Esrog orchards of Calabria, Italy. The only source in the world of the Yanover Esrogim.





The above picture is of the "Murkav" (grafted) Esrog tree trunk. The fruits look like a regular Esrogim but will not be suitable for the Mizvah (according to the "photographer" you can see on the trunk that something was grafted into it base because of the bulges, knots as well as the different color shading between the top and bottom).




A young Esrog tree is being planted. G-d bless "Italiya Shel Yovan", a Gut Moed to all!

Esrog No. 5766

I bough this Yanover Esrog today from Pinnya Krinsky. I usually look for the greenest Esrog and this year it was hard to find, the Sukkos is late. I feel closer to the green color. Yellow is the color I do not understand. Some of those really yellow Moroccan Esrogim are a horror to me. I look for an Esrog that has some personality. This one was a small crooked one to the side of the table that nobody wanted; I noticed it right out of the box. I hear those symmetrical long legged Esrogim with an elegant waist line dry out under the first ray of sun. I like an Esrog that is a bit twisted and has some interesting groovy texture. Small but round, busting at the seams full of energy mischievous, naughty boy. No pimple-like Pitums please. The face of the Esrog on the top should have an angry expression like a youngster who has swallowed his lips in intense anticipation. My Esrog have never been kissed and if you look closely you will see that it�s shoulders are covered with goose bums in hope of the loving embrace with his basherte Lulav. Go to sleep my dear Esrog, tomorrow you will stand under the Chupa with Tzemach Lulav.

Breaking news, she has been kissed!

"Nice Jewish Girl" AKA "34 and Never Been Kissed" is touched by an angel and a real man!

A long-lasting breach

AP photo by Kevin Frayer

Recently I linked to Chakira�s post about Rabbi Hayyim Hirschensohn. There is a reference there to an article in the Edah Journal by Marc Shapiro.

(I am now going to quote parts of the article verbatim)
The most interesting, and radical, of [Rabbi Hayyim Hirschensohn�s] proposals�: "Are we at present able to find a heter for some rabbinic prohibitions, based on the principle that a decree that has not spread among most of the community can be voided by a lesser Beit Din [than the one that instituted it]?" The basis for this suggestion is Maimonides' ruling (Mishneh Torah, Hilkhot Mamrim 2:6-7):

If the court has issued a decree in the belief that the majority of the community could endure it, and after the enactment thereof the people made light of it and it was not accepted by the majority, the decree is void and the court is denied the right to coerce the people to abide by it. If after a decree had been promulgated, the court was of the opinion that it was universally accepted by Israel and nothing was done about it for years, and after the lapse of a long period a later court investigates the doings of Israel and finds that the decree is not generally accepted, the latter court, even if it be inferior to the former in wisdom and number, is authorized to abrogate it.

Traditionally, this halakhah has been understood to mean that if, at the time of the decree, the people never accepted it, then it can be revoked. What [Rabbi Hayyim Hirschensohn] suggested was that since it is the Jewish people who, at the end of the day, decide if a decree is to be binding, then perhaps this authority does not only apply to the first generation, but for all time. In other words, the Jewish people have a continuing role in ensuring the validity of rabbinic legislation. Therefore, if the Jewish population�and he has in mind those who are generally observant�chooses to ignore a rabbinic decree that in years past was accepted, then this very lack of observance, which at first was understandably regarded as sinful, could itself give authority to the rabbis to formally void the decree.

This is, to be sure, an extreme position, in that it places the continuing, binding nature of rabbinic authority in the hands of the people. Yet it is not as radical, or unique, as many will think. To begin with, no less a figure than R. Joseph Karo claims that this approach is a plausible explanation of Maimonides� statement. Furthermore, it is basic to halakhic history that the response of the community plays a role in the authority of halakhah. That is, when enough people flout a halakhah, and the sages are unable to improve matters, it is usually not long before rabbis begin to develop justifications for the people's behavior (limmud zekhut). In fact, R. Abraham Isaac Kook even provided the theological justification for this phenomenon of halakhic "updating". In a famous passage from Arpelei Tohar, which because of its daring was censored by a "theologically correct" editor, R. Kook writes:

At times, when there is need to transgress the way of the Torah, and there is no one in the generation who can show the way, the thing comes about through breaching. Nevertheless, it is better for the world that such a matter come about unintentionally. Only when prophecy rests on Israel is it possible to innovate such a matter as a "temporary measure". Then it is done with express permission. With the damming of the light of prophecy, the innovation comes about through a long-lasting breach, which saddens the heart with its externals, but gladdens it with its inner content.

What is particularly noteworthy about the [Rabbi Hayyim Hirschensohn�s] suggestion is that it is not concerned with ex post facto justifications, but is raising the possibility of formal abolishment of rabbinic prohibitions by contemporary rabbis. Think of a rabbinic prohibition that is widely ignored in the traditional community�and in early twentieth century America there were many�and imagine bringing it before a rabbinic court that would then abolish it.�What used to be a violation becomes accepted, even among the halakhists.�

Mochon Chana scars

Berl of Crown Heights commenting to the Closing down the segregated BT yeshivos post:

"Serious and capable BT students" implies an ability to work hard enough to be able to catch up with the regular yeshiva curriculum (which is very doable, but perhaps not for all). Anyone else should be learning Torah in their spare time while pursuing their career, etc.

Women too old, too 'worldly', or otherwise unready for a Beith Rivka high school/seminary should not be encouraged to abruptly "drop it all" and come to CH for a full time mentally-crushing boot camp for Judaism, but to slowly and steadily grow in their observance in a way that does not leave permanent scars on their psyche (btw, I have never encountered anyone that went through the Mochon Chana circuit that didn�t have those scars). And please do not tell me "the Rebbe encouraged the BT Yeshivas". The Rebbe did not tell them to create segregated mental wards where a "separate but equal" BT culture would flourish. It is very difficult for a graduate of such an institution to "integrate" and they only feel at home with fellow inmates.

Housecleaning rules

Reuters photo by Gil Cohen Magen

Please no anonymous posts.
Please don't make your alias a descriptive statement, i.e. Australian Who Hates Kangaroos or Parisian Who loves Misnagdim, etc.
Don't name yourself after real people - Satmarer Rebbe, etc. The original might object to be brought to your level.
Please refrain from personal attacks and from inferring a sinister motive behind the comments. Talk about ideas not about personalities of the posters.
Do not change your alias. See A note to Alter Vitebsker or how vandals took the handles post.

mentalblog.com links

chakira: Schlugging Kapparos Mit Rene� Girard.
UPI: Jewish inmate gets kosher meals back.
Yossi Lipsker's shule is vandalized in Swampscott.
A date possibility, Blues Traveler (BT)?
UOJ: Orthodox Criminals.
alansalzberg: Concervative Yom Kippor in Israel.
Biur Chametz: Desecrating Atonement and Bicycle Day.

Rua da Judiaria

An intelligent blog in Spanish [sorry Portuguese, see comments] Rua da Judiaria. I don�t read Spanish but I love to see a Jewish blog that pays attention to clean beautiful layout and graphics.

Breslov today, a bipolar farm?

I recently overheard the following conversation between a Bresolver who just came back from Uman and a Chabadnik:

Chabadnik: Uman is a place where all the crazies get together. Bresolver: How can you say something like this? Shame on you! Take "shuvu bonim" (I think that was the group he mentioned) for example they gave hope and life to thousands of bipolar Jews.

I don�t know if bipolar illness is a fiction just like the nervous breakdown. But is it true that Breslov today is a one big bipolar farm? And than there was this conversation about Shneur Zalman Haskelevich, see comments to the Two Apostles post.

Breaking down the nervous breakdown

Grose wrote about "Children whose parents had nervous breakdowns" in Homeless, unmarried, forever shunned post.

So I am thinking what is "Nervous breakdown"? There were few kids in Morristown who had an incident that was described as a "Nervous breakdown". But the problem was that I could clearly see that they were crazy before the incident, it was a cracking moment but not particularly different from their "normal" behavior. Then I also remember in Boro Park there was one divorcee who married a daughter of one of the richest Jews in New York. I asked how did the shmendrik merit the honor and I was told that "the girl is perfectly OK", she just had a nervous breakdown in the past. Ok you mean she is 100% mentally healthy and slipped at some point?

Anyhow I am looking at this definition and it clearly states that "a "Nervous Breakdown" is a popular term - it is not a clinical term - that is often used to describe a mental disorder that a person experiences. It is used for a number of reasons, including: to hide a diagnosis; to avoid the stigma of a diagnosis; not understanding the reasons for certain loss of function (such as not seeing a doctor, but having symptoms); and not accepting a diagnosis among others." This is what I always suspected, there is not such thing as "Nervous breakdown". Another fictional invention.

Dancing on the tip of the Yud

This might be a good year. I took off from work early on Wednesday with the specifics intent to have a peaceful meal and not wanting to rush things again. I went to visit my mother and suddenly I hear an alarm of my car. I look out the window and see that my car is being towed! The tow truck driver has opened the passenger door and is doing something inside my car! I run downstairs like crazy only to hear the car alarm still blasting at a distance� This towing was a result of error by people who told my mother that there will be open parking before and "during" Yom Kippur. Alas, the before parking was not open�So even ahead of the holiday I felt that special attention and I am sure the coming year will be the best ever. The car is back minus the up charge for one extra night in the tow lot� Life is good!

Yom Kippur

I want to wish Gmar Chasima Toiva to the readers from Brooklyn, Norway, Singapore, Australia, Uruguay, Moscow, Canada, Washington Heights, Newton, MA, Los Angels, Minsk, South Africa, London, Jerusalem and the rest of the world!

Kos Shel Brocho, Rosh Hashona 5766

Chabad.FM: Photos and the video of the Rebbe Shlita in 770 after Rosh Hashona.
Also, Ynetnews: Verizon removes "Messianic" Jews from the Yellow Pages "Jewish" section in NJ. These people need to read Clay Shirky again: Categories, Links, and Tags.

United States of Breslov in Uman

Schneur Zalman of NY commenting to the Chief Rabbi of Ukraine No.3 is excommunicated: DER YID last week had a long article claiming that Asman has declared WAR on the mainstream Breslover group in Uman. They claim he and another group of Breslover "Pitzuei Hanachal" have out maneuvered the main line group and have made things bad in Uman. Can anyone out there fill me in on the happenings in Uman?

Chabakuk Elisha: My understanding of the situation is unclear, but basically this is what I've heard. The Breslov vaad in charge of Uman has dissolved. R' Michel Dofman, R' Noson Maimon & R' Leizer Berland (Shuvu Banim), have taken control of things, and through aligning with the "Chief Rabbi" they have Government backing (Police support etc). The other leaders support the opposition. This essentially is because of gross errors in management and loss of millions of dollars - due to poor decision making - and some difference of opinion regarding the future. It is the position of R' Michel to continue to throw money at the shul that was never adequate (at max it will not even hold 7,000 people - this year there were approx 26,000).

For now the fights have only been on the level of leadership, and have not really trickled down to the chassidim. The result is that essentially it seems that every group will end up probably doing their own thing, and making their own minyanim. It remains to be seen if there will be any strong-arm tactics to prevent splintering off. It seems to me that all that has really occurred is that Shuvu Banim will end up with the big shul (for free) and there is no more unified Breslov Rosh Hashana experience. Fortunes of money were lost, and every group is being forced to come up with their own ideas, and arrangements.

"Pitzuei Hanachal" is basically the dropouts who are mad at the main-streamers, because they didn't let them hang around and act like drop-outs do. They feel that they have a right to do whatever they want, and nobody should tell them what is acceptable behavior in the shul or at the Tzion... For that reason they are with the side that seized power from those who hurt them.

Schneur Zalman of NY: So the struggle is pragmatic not theological. Where does Rabbi Schick stand? Why did the 3rd chief rabbi of the Ukraine interfere in this matter? Are the Na Na group involved in this? I understand that a Mr. Schwartz from Monroe NY leads a Breslover group loyal to the shito of the late Satmarer Rebbe and they have their own minyon in Uman.

Chabakuk Elisha: Rav Shick (I think always) had his own minyan (with a women�s section! - no other women used to come for R"H) and has always done his own thing there. I don't think he is on any side in this matter. There are tons of Na-Nach's, but I don�t know where their leadership stands.There were supposedly 2 Satmar minyonim, and 1 Chabad minyan. There were also multiple minyanim of other stripes, since this trip to Uman seems to have become a fad, and there is simply no room for so many people to daven together.

mentalblog.com email of the day

Fedora writes: First off, thanks for your efforts on your blog. Sometimes the issues we're all dealing with build up until I feel that I'm gonna pop. It's a relief just to hear that others are experiencing the same things (although that fact makes me sad). As the Chassidim say, just speaking about tzuris is half of the solution. On a happier note, have you heard anything about where to purchase a real kasket in Americhka? I'd be very interested to hear what you've learned about this topic since you ran the piece in January (see Bring back the Lubavitcher headgear).
Thanks much, Tzemach. Zei gezunt un shtark. A shana tova.

Dear Fedora, the closes I could find to the authentic kasket is the one that was seen on Rabbi Dovid Karpov in this picture. Rabbi Karpov told me that you can buy one on the Moscow market. Perhaps our Moscow readers can procure some for the mental bloggers. I am sure many will be ready to pay the top dollar.

P.S. Encore: Fasting For Yom Kippur (from a Medical Perspective).

Closing down the segregated BT yeshivos

Aseres Yamey Baal Tshuva on mentalblog.com


berl, crown heights commenting to the "Love bombing" post:

There is no doubt that the effort to really integrate the BTs has been less then earnest, to put it mildly. It has been fraught with many mistakes. The sooner that changes, the better. (I would start with closing down the segregated BT yeshivos and letting the serious and capable BT students into the �regular� programs [no matter how behind they are academically]. The others should be encouraged to continue on their chosen career path in college, etc. But I would argue that if a BT is not offered help in integrating, said BT should do that for themselves and not whine about being �tricked� into frumkeit.

Homeless, unmarried, forever shunned

Grose commenting to the "Love bombing" post:

One of the most amazing conversations is the one between Naomi and Ruth. Basically, Naomi scares Ruth off of Judaism, telling her she might be homeless, unmarried, forever shunned - and yet, Ruth still goes for the truth. There is a problem with kiruv that people are hooked in "unnaturally", told about love and easy times. Judaism demands sacrifice, and not just of the BT's. In our day and age, folks like complaining and you think you have a legitimate complaint because you are a BT and you don't have the parents that FFBs do, etc.

Well, listen up, folks. Life is hard. Once you figure that out, it�s simple. The FFBs whose parents were Holocaust survivors, like those found in Williamsburg, could have had the same exact dialogues. Children whose parents had nervous breakdowns could also. So could a million, zillion other folks. Get over it. Your life was not any harder than mine, just because you are a BT. Life is hard for many people. Dig in and live it. Stop expecting the world to solve your issues. My mother, a Holocaust survivor, grew up in an orphanage, learned how to cope and had a dozen kids, all without any Mommy or Tatty help you say that BTs are deprived of.

Breaking the BT for a higher purpose

rebeljew commenting to the "Love bombing" post:

When you encourage someone to become frum, you are taking them from a supported familiar world to a completely unknown one and telling them to cope with things that we, as FFBs, depend on familial support for, even to the extent of supporting life direction choices and simchas. (How many BTs frei parents are happy when the 5th child is born, even though they cannot support that many? How many frum parents? Think about it.)

In effect, we tell them not to listen to their frei family and their advice, listen to us instead, because we have the answers for a meaningful life. It is then our OBLIGATION to replace what we have asked them to give up, someone who WILL be happy with them when they are trying to answer "how will you support them all?" and Why won't you come to the wedding, she's a nice Italian girl, and the entire family will be insulted?" for the 85th time, and not having a good answer. (Any answer will just emphasize how little the BT still has in common with their biological family.)

That is not "whining". That is what do I do now? I didn't bargain for this, and I had to leave all of my coping tools behind." (I could give you 50 examples that you would agree with off the top of my head, but I will spare you.) We, as FFB's, simply take those coping tools for granted. The bottom line is that you essentially breaking the BT, for a higher purpose, but as the song say: "You break it, you own it". Any of us who encourages a BT to leave his Shabbos job, his non Jewish girlfriend and his kid's public school and is not willing to help him find a shomer shabbos job, a proper shiduch, and an acceptable Jewish school and the coping tools to deal with that mindset is, in the Rebbe's words, "fooling himself" into thinking he is doing anyone a service or a favor.

Twisting her psyche into a pretzel

Shoshanna Silcove commenting to the "Love bombing" post:

The BT is often completely ignorant of frum life and Torah concepts. I was starry eyed, naive, and was looking for people to show me how to do everything in the most ideal way. The 'mashpia' is the guru. The guru selectively filters out which Torah concepts are relevant to emphasize in order to mold the BT's views and life decisions. This is less like education and more like indoctrination.

My 'mashpia-guru' presents himself to the community as a kind, selfless, and compassionate helper. After a few years it became clear to me that he had a hidden (unconscious?) agenda that compelled him to desire control over his charges. He is good at mind control, is unassuming, charming, clever, and manipulative. The 'guru' can be a certain type of sociopath. Do a Google search under 'sociopath-guru-psychology' for some interesting insights into this disorder. I believe some of these traits may be applicable here.

In my case, the guru alienated me further from my parents and made himself my replacement parent. The guru presented his values as the ultimate arbiter of the highest Chassidic ideals and his shittahs as the ultimate emes, without giving me enough education to make choices that were suitable for me, he manipulated me into repressing my own personality and adopting another persona that would fit into his image of what an ideal frum BT should be. After twisting my psyche into a pretzel in order to fit this ideal that was not mine, but the guru's, I could not continue if I wished to live a healthy life. I asserted myself by allowing my own views and personality to surface whereby I was almost immediately spurned by my guru.

In retrospect, this was one of the best things that could have happened to me, even though it hurt at the time. I then returned to another former mashpia, a wonderful wise, bitul, Rabbi, famed the world over for working with BT's. This mashpia had no hidden ego trips or agendas, allowed me to be myself, truly appreciated my uniqueness and played no mind games with me.

The guru almost ruined my life and my marriage. The guru had a ego trip for 'creating' me as a BT, I was his prot�g�, his pride and joy, but he never really did it for me, it was all for his own neurotic control freak needs.

Since there are not any systems put into place that can monitor or scrutinize a shaliach's/mashpia's behavior or mental health, they can often be doing great harm to people's mental well being, all the while being thought of in public as great successful shluchim. In the helping professions of psychiatry or psychology, there are systems in place to hopefully monitor possible abuse by the professionals, and although these systems are not foolproof, in the shluchim structures there are not any monitoring systems in place at all. This means the mashpia-mekabel relationship, which could be fraught with potential abuse and misuse of power if allowed to go on without any supervision.

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